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Monday, May 28, 2012

Perubahan aka Changes! [useless]

Salam... I'm feeling a bit useless right now....

Causes:
1. Feel no changes in my life - apa org cakap still at same level.
2. Negative comments why I don't drive my car
3. feel a bit left out/left behind from my colleagues just because I was outsourced to other company which I suppose to learn more and has more projects... I feel they has learn so many things that I suppose to learn and do... and they got more privilege than me... more allowance and training...
4. I'm still not own anything yet..except from my car ... even I can't buy my own notebook...
5. no improvement at all... in term of academic -[ Hope to further studies, but a lot of challenges to overcome for that]

I've my own reason why I don't drive my car here accept from I'm not confident... but it was not easy to explain to everyone... it even harder to tell myself not to say so..

Thinking of my age now, this is not what I dreamed 10 years ago... it is not!!
Talking about age, is it to late for me to change now? is it to late for me to start all over again..to get what I want?
Some people will advise:
" x semestinya apa yang kita mahukan adalah yang terbaik untuk kita" 

but why I not feel ease with my current situations? If this the best for me I should feel happy... right?


PS: sorry to being so emo for this entry... :-(

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Gelap Kehidupan mencari Cahaya Illahi

Ku buka mata....Gelap..
meraba -raba dalam kegelapan...
mencari-cari sinar Illahi...
alam hakikatnya terang bercahaya....
namun kosong, hitam dimataku
apatah lagi dihati...

Hidayah Mu tuhan seterang-terang cahaya...
menyinari hati-hati insan yang masih bergelumang dalam kegelapan...
Hanya Kau Yang Maha Mengetahui...
sinarilah hati-hati kami dengan sinar petunjuk dan hidayah-Mu ..Allah...
...
Hidup dalam buta mata malah buta hati...
tidak kemana-mana...

Celik kan kami dengan ayat-ayat al-quran
Bersihkan kami dengan kalimah-kalimah pujian Mu...
Lindungi kami dengan kekuasaan Mu...
tunjukkan kami cahaya agar senantiasa tetap dan lurus dijalan-Mu..

Dalam gelap kami memohon cahaya....
Dalam terang kami memuja keindahan...

Takala kesepian merasuk jiwa... Ingatlah bahawa Allah itu ada dan mencukupi segalanya...

Princesseira ~
>17th May 2012<